Friday, September 15, 2017

Bitcoin will bounce up again minutes from now... BEHODL

As many good news within an hour ago, I'm positive that the bitcoin price will rise up again. This is a great time to buy bitcoin. Good luck.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

A Special Day in My Life

          WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 13, 1995 is the day I was born. Whilst I am writing this, I already reached my 22 years(SEPTEMBER 13, 2017) of living. Yeah, today is the special day. What's so special about it? First of all, today is the same wednesday as in 1995. The calender in 1995 is the same as 2017. Exactly the same! There have been 8,036 days from the day I was born up to today. Since night and day always follow each other, there were exactly 272 full moons after I was born up to this day. That means I have changed myself to a werewolf for 272 times. Hehehe.

Hell yeah... It's me...
          I have been living away from my family for 6 years. During the time, I went back home just for 6-7 times and that were only for a short days. I have been staying in different places alone. Fortunately, I have so many parents. I don't know why people like to adopt me as their son. My real parents were always scare if I were with bad people or other kidnappers. But apparently, all of them are good people. I am the bad one. LOL xD

          Despite having so many parents, I don't have that much amount of friends. My friends are less than my fingers. I choose only good people to be my friends. The one who I can count on. Sad? nope. I always go for quality rather than quantity. I have acquaintances but they don't deserve to be on my friend list. Surely, they disappoint me.

          Love, I was once fell in love with a wrong person. I was being used. She made me as "tempat berteduh kasih (-(OO)-)" whilst having a long range relationship with other guy. At first, I didn't love her. But I was fucking soft. How the fuck on earth is it easy for me to pity on people. I sacrified my feeling on my crush for her. I stopped chasing my crush because of her. When she got my heart, she tore it apart. It's rhyme xD. Thank you.

          Thanks God for bringing me closer to my crush today despite she would never know I crushed my feeling on her for a long time ago. The God gave me a second chance but I am afraid to be hurt again. It's hard to express our love to someone who we really love and admire. Plus, it's hard to be jealous every time I look at her. And, it's also funny to be jealous for something we don't own. ROTFL xD

           Talking about birthday, I only got one present till today. That was 19 years ago. At that time, I threw my birthday cake out through a window. Because I don't like to eat cake. From that moment, there's no birthday cake for me anymore. Good. Then give me Lamb chop! xD
             Because I have only one gift ever, I bought myself a gift for my birthday every year. One of my favs present from myself that I really love is this sling bag. I bought it on September 13, 2014. 

Fucking love it <3 <3 <3
                 And now, as I'm finishing this last paragraph, it's already September 14, 2017. Today is the first page of chapter 22 in my life's book. So, I hope I will be living for another more years and live happily with someone I love. I want my own kids badly xD

Written by: An adorable demon

Sunday, April 23, 2017

It's Never Mean Nothing


No one can define what it really is.

I am in utter amazement whilst writing this topic because I am into it.

Let me start with the word "apparently".

There's a good reason why I keep my feeling unspoken. 
I really want to say I love you but it will hurt someone else.

        Apparently, there are a lot of lovebirds out there. The question is, does it really love that cling them together or just... you know.... wealth.... appearance... benefits... blablablabla... stereotypically saying...

What say you?

           As a matter of fact, me myself don't really can make head or tail when it comes to define love. I merely don't know how to convey the meaning of it because it's beyond my line of thought. I can make a good love storyline but not a comprehension about it. As well none of you can.

           So, I'll cut all the crap and start telling you what I really want to say. First of all, I'm sorry for the bad introduction because  I am shy to start the foreword with simply "I've fallen in love AGAIN". I thought the ability to love is long gone but lately it came and warms my heart. For the first time, I mean for the first time in a long of time, my heart got it's beat right to the rhythm. It's beating harmoniously like never before.

             I'd never made up good in love previously, so I'm afraid it will be the same this time. I lied when I said she is not my type. I tried to convince myself that I don't love her. I tried to seek her flaws and tried to hate her, but as the time goes by, it's made me fall deeper into her. Maybe, my willingness to be with her is more than my thought to just leave.

              But this love is complicated more than it seems. Honestly, there is no way out without being hurt. I may step out from this love but at the end I'll live the rest of my life with regret. Stepping out is the last thing I'll do. I'd never want to do it. Ever.

             All about my limitation. I am not really into my selfish thought either. I'm not giving up and let her slip away. I just let her happy with her life. I'm not going to drag her with my limitation. For now, I know I couldn't afford what she wanted so I just let her with someone else. I need time to improve myself. Maybe she wouldn't need me anymore at the time when I am a better somebody. But that "maybe" is worth of trying. No one knows what the future may bring right? Maybe at that time she still waiting. 

For the moment, let me live in envious for the sake of her joys.

Written by: An adorable demon.

Monday, April 17, 2017

The Demon Inside Me

Leaving... Losing... Being left alone, keep losing and try to survive between truths and lies... 

And that really sounds like me... 

Surrounded by bad lucks... merely because I tried to bury the demon deep inside... 

But apparently, the demon knows his way back to the surface of my life... 

or just perhaps, the demon is a part of me...

        When someone leaves after everything I've done good, that rings the bell for me to realise I am no good at all... I'm a bloody demon... They come when they need, and when they don't, they forget everything even to appreciate things... The same crossroad, same deal, but non of them fulfills the promises that were made... Human beings are bloody ungrateful...

          Able to feel, able to love is a curse for a demon like me... Those make me weak, vulnerable to be hurt... I wish I'd be a better demon, a stronger one and don't have feelings like human... Up to this time, I was afraid to tell people my past, to tell what I really was or what I am... Because what I've done before are too far from forgiveness... and I'm afraid of being left and live in a lonesome...

        I feel amazed, fascinated, feeling impressed when I see the beauty of the light enlighten up the sorrow of the darkness every damn frigging night... Maybe I'm just evil but not a complete darkness... Somehow, I miss the light when it's too dull... But when it's too bloody bastard bright, I don't like it at all...

         Maybe I just love to live in between... In where I don't have to chose neither bad nor good... and in where I don't need to stand with the truths or to lie within lies... or... perhaps, I'm just scare of the truths and afraid to be lied... I mean not again... like it was happen a thousand tick of times before... or... probably. I'm just tired of living this life...

         Hope....? What does it sound to you..? Frankly, I hate to admit that I'm hoping for something... I have to lie that I don't hope so I won't feel frustrated later on... Because I'm scare of disappointment.... You might be guessing how a demon like me would end up afraid with everything... well.... I'm not supposed to, but  I ought to be like this... it's because I have faith...

I believe in some later time, there'll come the one who will accept me, purify me from my sins, will love me like never before and willing to stand by me till the end of the time... 

hope so...

Such an adorable words by a hilarious demon like me;
April 17, 2017

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